Keeping Close
by Zeakari
Summary: Jeremie is doing better now... at least he's trying to. But he still can't force what is not there. Sequel to Slipping Away.


A/N: This is the sequel to one of my other stories, Slipping Away. I'd recommend reading that first.

A lot of you didn't seem to really like that the story ended where it did. Honestly, nothing more was supposed to happen. I left it so you all could draw your own conclusions. I honestly had no idea how I could have continued to story. Eventually, after a bunch of comments that in its basic form said 'I don't get it' I started to come up with a vague idea of what could happen next. What happens in this continuation is not random, it's completely in context with the idea I had from the very beginning. Really, the purpose of the story was to state something that I had been thinking about for a while, but from the comments I doubt anybody got it. Probably due to my poor writing skills, but oh well. I didn't want it to be obvious enough for it to be crammed down your throats. So I did it in this one instead, hopefully you won't hate that. But the ideas are a bit different in this one so... yeah...

Anyway, enough of my pointless rambling. On to the... the sad, sad attempt at a continuation.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Lyoko.

Keeping Close

by Zeakari

* * *

Laughter. It's such a strange behavior. All it is, is the action of repeatedly releasing air while activating one's vocal chords. Ha ha ha. What is laughter's evolutionary purpose? Yes, it relieves stress and can actually be good exercise since it uses so many muscles, but what caused the very first laugh to exist? What caused it to be associated with happiness? Why not another emotion?

_Stop it._

Jeremie blinked as he forced himself out of such thoughts. Laughter is an expression of happiness and that is all that should matter about it. He mustn't dissect things like that. His therapist discouraged it.

Yes, Jeremie Belpois, the known genius of Kadic School, was seeing a therapist. He had a mental disorder that nobody really noticed, yet it made almost too much sense. It caused him to have an unhealthy focus on things, the most recent and strongest being the rogue computer. His obsession used to be on XANA, before they defeated it. He always worked on his computer, typing up programs and such to use against their hated enemy. Even if he wasn't on the computer, it was always at the back of his mind. Codes would run through his head and his fingers would yearn for the feel of the hard computer keys. He managed to keep up his social life at least with his Lyoko-knowing friends, especially Aelita, because they were extensions of his obsession.

After they defeated XANA, he had lost the subject of his fixation. At first he, along with his friends, celebrated that evil creature's demise. But as time went on and their lives returned to normal, he found himself growing restless. He started losing interest in his own friends and began immersing himself in his computer. He didn't know why he was changing, but he found himself unable to care. He became distant and cold, very much unlike the happy boy he once was. Aelita had finally stepped in, resulting him in being where he was now.

A hand was suddenly waved before his eyes, catching his attention. The owner of the hand, Odd, smirked at his friend and cracked a joke. Something about him losing his world. He laughed, and so did the others, at the random comment. Jeremie joined in the laugh, though his was a little forced. It wasn't like he didn't want to laugh. It was almost like laughter had gone from a subconscious action to a conscious effort. It unnerved him.

* * *

"…"

"…"

"Did you finish the third puzzle?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, you're already on the seventh one…"

"Yeah."

"They must be so easy for you."

"A little."

"…"

"…"

"So how have your therapy sessions been going?"

"Okay."

"What did Miss Pataki say?"

"Same things she always says."

"… You are taking this seriously, right?"

"The puzzles or therapy?"

"Jeremie…"

"No, I'm kidding, Aelita. Of course I am. See? If I weren't taking them seriously, I would have never used humor just now."

"I guess not."

"…"

"…"

* * *

Crying is similar to laughter, now that he thought about it. Instead of releasing repeated bursts of air, though, liquid is expelled from the eyes. That was more pointless than laughter, though. Crying is caused by sadness or extreme joy… or basically a burst of uncontrollable emotion. Or something of the sort. Crying causes runny noses, blurry sight, headaches, throat aches, stomachaches, and makes one generally uncomfortable. Crying is more pointless than laughter. What's the point of it? The evolutionary point? It's distracting and uncomfortable.

Most people, especially guys, didn't like to cry because they felt that it made them weak. Only babies cry, or something like that. Jeremie didn't really see it that way. He didn't like to cry because there was just no point to it for him. It didn't make him feel better, it only made him feel sick. He could see more of a point to laughter than crying. And laughter was still an issue. His therapist, Miss Pataki, had suggested he try crying. It was an emotion thing.

He took her advice. He tried it. He didn't care for it.

_Ring! Ring!_

Jeremie looked up at the cell phone on his bedside table. He wasn't at his computer, like he would have been a few months ago. He was sitting on his bed. Reading a book.

He set the book down, keeping it open to the page he had left off on. He picked up the phone and answered it.

"Hi, Jeremie," Aelita's voice came from the small speaker. "Yumi invited all of us to go see a movie. You wanna come?"

He took a breath, actually thinking about it. Finish a book with only himself as company, or go see a movie with his friends. Then he actually took the time to realize that any normal person his age would have jumped at the latter.

This wasn't a question. It was just a formality.

"Sure, let me just get changed."

He closed the book without placing a bookmark in the pages. It was a little challenge he left himself for later. Find where he left off.

* * *

"It's random."

"Hmm?"

Jeremie held a hand up and placed it upon his chest. He couldn't feel his heart beat. That was only because they were walking, it was difficult to feel while he was moving. "Why is it the heart, a mere muscle that squeezes liquid through a network of veins throughout our body, that is associated with emotion?"

"Well…" Aelita placed a finger to her chin in thought. "When you get excited, your heart beats faster. You feel the excitement welling up in your chest."

"But it's the brain that actually feels the emotion, not the heart. The heart's just a muscle."

"We can't feel our brain, though," she said and placed her hand over his. "But we can feel our heart beat. It's a symbolic thing."

Ulrich glanced back at them and smiled. This caught Odd's attention, and he had to crack a joke about it. Jeremie didn't really pay much attention, but rolled his eyes nonetheless. Aelita blushed and looked down with a smile on her face. She entwined her fingers with Jeremie's and dropped them so they hung between them. He did not look at her, but he did not pull away.

* * *

The blade shined, reflecting what little light there was within the room. He placed his index finger gently upon the sharp end and ran it carefully along from one end to the other. It didn't cut him. He placed the small knife's edge on the crook of his arm and ran it just as gently along it, all the way to his wrist.

Jeremie had no intention of killing himself. He doubted he ever would feel the desire to do so. But the very idea intrigued him. What was there beyond death that made some people wish to end their lives? He knew nothing of what happened when one dies. Religion promised a life beyond death, but was it really true? Part of him wanted to think so. But another part was convinced that there was nothing. When the brain shuts down, when the electricity stops shooting throughout the wrinkled mass of membrane, nothing happened. It just stopped.

That sounded so boring compared to life.

Yet everyday, someone else willingly ended the life they had. A rather stupid thing to do, he concluded. He didn't care how depressed they may have felt, it was still one of the stupidest things a person could ever do.

'If I die, that'll show them.'

…

Yippee.

"All because it's so sharp shouldn't make it so easy," he whispered in disgust.

He jumped at the sound of the floor creaking in the hallway. This caused the knife to catch in his arm a little. He quickly placed it back on the counter, wiping the small bit of blood off of the blade.

"Oh, Jeremie. I thought I heard someone down here. Couldn't sleep?"

He nodded, willing his heart to slow. If he had been seen with the knife, he would have surely been accused of trying to kill himself. Even despite how much the idea repulsed him.

"It was nice of Yumi's parents to let us all sleep over, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Well… I just came down to get a drink… maybe a small snack… You?"

"I was just going for a short walk around… I think I'll head up to bed now."

"Oh… okay."

He did not look back at the ugly knife before heading out the room and up the stairs.

* * *

Love, he concluded, was not as pointless as cynical people made it out to be. But the romantics managed to be wrong as well. Love was evolutionarily needed. For humans. Humans had grown smart enough that they didn't just blindly follow instincts like a lot of other animals did. Humans can choose to ignore their urges. They can live a full life and die without completing the purpose of every living creature. Making more of themselves. Love was needed to spur this self-preservation forward. That meant that love wasn't all as sweet as everyone thought… at least not to him.

* * *

Jeremie sighed and backed away, breaking the contact. Aelita looked up at him in confusion.

"What's wrong, Jeremie?" she asked. She started to play with the hair on the back of his head, as her arms were wrapped around his neck.

He stared past her, above her head. He had a troubled, thoughtful look in his eyes. "I'm wrong."

"Hmm?"

He met her eyes. Those adoring, green eyes. They were sitting outside on one of the benches. Nobody was around, as curfew was drawing close. Aelita had taken advantage of the beautiful sunset and lack of people.

"…"

"Jeremie?"

"I… I'm wrong," he repeated. He let go of her sides, but she did not let go of him.

"What do you mean?"

_Déjà vu…_

"Please let go."

"What?"

_It's the same, but it's different._

"I'm wrong. I don't want to lie anymore." He sighed again.

"What are you talking about?" She smirked. "You're just feeling tired, right? We have been studying a lot for those tests… why don't we head back to the dorms?"

_Sleep won't fix me._

"Aelita… I can't do this anymore."

_Sure you can._

"… What…"

_Don't say it._

"I… I don't love you."

…_  
_

"Y-You…"

"I'm sorry."

_Déjà vu…_

Tears started to well up in her eyes. Tears couldn't force him to love her. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, not now that he was in his right mind, but he couldn't force himself to love her like she so wanted him to.

_Selfish._

He pulled her into a hug and she let out a small sob.

"I… I thought… you…"

The boy stayed silent, just continued to hold her tight and rub her back. She didn't have to say it. He knew what she was trying to say without saying it. To actually say it would be wrong. She thought that if he went to therapy, if he regained his right state of mind, he would love her. He tried. But it turned out not to be that simple. All that he had learned was that he may have never loved her at all.

But that didn't mean he wanted to hurt her.

"I'm sorry."

She suddenly shoved him away and stood up, giving him a teary-eyed glare. "You don't even care. You probably haven't even been trying. You…" she choked and her tears flowed free once more. She turned on her heel and left.

He felt bad. But not too bad. He was too emotionally drained to feel much of anything, especially lately.

He sighed and left for the dorms, giving his computer only a glance before collapsing on his bed and grabbing a book.

* * *

A/N: I hope this was a bit more conclusive, despite how unfocused and stupid it was. It was supposed to be that way Uh, no the stupid part, but the unfocused part, it was supposed to be unfocused.

Y'know what's the sad thing? Aelita/Jeremie is my favorite couple in this series. But if I had made it so they got together in this story, whatever pointless point I was trying to make would just die right there. Plus it would seem so soapish, or like one of those stupid typical high school drama type stuffs that I saw in the hallways all the time in high school. Boring. Happily-ever-after's leave less to think about.

One last thing. At the end of Slipping Away, I had written "The battle has only just begun." Some didn't seem to get it, so I guess I may as well explain. Despite how it ended, I tried to make it obvious that Aelita wasn't about to give up that easily. She had just lost that part and was going to continue trying to help him (as was the outcome in this story). Hence, the battle had only just begun. ... ... But the main reason why I wrote that was because of the song I was listening to at the end. XD


End file.
